...a series of tubes

Unofficial blog of Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) that he uses to address the blogging community on the issues of Network Neutrality.

Friday, July 14, 2006

This is what the internets look like

Here is another explanation of the internets as a series of tubes.

Series of Tubes for sale

In an effort to expand the capabilities of the internets, I have made available some tubes so that we can fit more material...massive amounts of material into the tubes. See my Craislist.org posting here.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Unclog the tubes!

This is exactly what I'm talking about! We need more solutions like this to unclog the tubes and make the internet equal for everyone. Please send more to seriesoftubes@gmail.com

The Daily Show

I would like to thank The Daily Show for explaining my views to the nation on Network Neutrality. Unfortunately I am unable to watch the video because my tubes are clogged with internets.

If your tubes can handle it, you can view the Daily Show segment here.

Remember, you can always send me an internet atseriesoftubes@gmail.com with your explanation or picture of how the internet works, and I'll post it on my blogs.

Senator Ted Stevens

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Internets - A Quagmire of Technology

As you are probably aware, many people in the United States do not understand the issue of Network Neutrality. Let me explain it to you.

When someone wants to send a message over the internet, they first have to type the words with a keyboard. The keyboard appears to be made of plastic keys and metal, but can really be thought of as many small telegraph machines. Each telegraph machine tells the computer through a series of beeps and boops what to do and these beeps and boops are converted, by something called a Hard Drive, into packets of information (this is achieved by technology, and a Hard Drive got its name because technology is very hard to understand). These packets can be thought of as little balls of goo, which are sticky, exactly like the burrs that get caught on your wool pants when you hike through a berry patch.

These sticky balls of goo then have to pass through a series of pipes, which are exactly like the oil pipelines found throughout my home state of Alaska. Small internets like messages can usually travel through these pipes, but when someone tries to send something big, like a movie (which is made up of lots of goo), things can go wrong.

You see, before I was elected Chairman of the US Senate Commerce Committee, many people thought that the internet was like a big truck.
This is because trucks have unlimited capacity, which everyone knows is true.

Since no one is able to understand my explanation, I am asking for your help. Please send me your internets atseriesoftubes@gmail.com explaining how the big internet works so that everyone can understand. If you have any pictures that will help me explain, I can show them on the Senate floor. Remember, my internets is clogged so you should email me at least 5 days in advance.

Senator Ted Stevens

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Internets are under Attack

In the past two weeks I have received many many internets from people across the country asking me to clarify my position on Network Neutrality. Instead of clogging my own personal internet by responding to each of them, I decided to ask my political advisors what to do.
They told me to get one of those bloggers. So I have started my own personal blogger where I will type websites to explain why Network Neutrality is a bad thing for our already clogged internet pipes.

Senator Ted Stevens